Learning to Handle the Seasons


“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” -- C.S. Lewis

Almost without a doubt, I would have to say that the hardest part of growing up, is realizing that some relationships are seasonal. When going into a friendship or community of people, you typically don't enter expecting that the relationships that grow will some day fade or go away entirely. At least I don't. I knew that when I went to Appalachian State in 2004, that I would leave in 2008 or thereabouts. But little did I know that when I stepped onto that campus in the small town of Boone, that I would make some of the most life changing relationships that I've ever had to date.

I met my husband, made new friendships and existing friendships became stronger. I left high school fully aware that I would probably not speak to most of my graduating class when it was all said and done. I realize this is not how it is for everyone, but I left knowing that, accepting it and felt not remorse about it. College is where you meet the friends that last...the ones that will stand beside you through the years and seasons to come.

At least that's what I thought and to an extent, I would say that I still believe it to be true. I made some amazing friends that I still consider some of my best. The ones that I will want there when tears of joy and celebration are shed and the ones that I want when tragedy will inevitably strike.  But truthfully, many of the friends and relationships that I held in my years at App State are now only communicated with and through Facebook comments or sporadic text messages. Honestly, to know that so many of the people we celebrated our wedding day with find out about stepping stones in our life through this blog or another social networking site, hurts. It's a tough thing to swallow.

And despite the three paragraphs I have already written, I really have no point to this post--just venting I suppose. I'm not placing blame on anyone person because a relationship consists of more than one person and I realize that I am as much to blame for some of these friendships dwindling away. And I fully take that on because, again, I know that for each and every season we're allowed to go through, God is providing a lesson. There is always something to learn and the things that are the hardest things to learn are usually the most needed. Each one of the relationships I held, I will always cherish and I know that I grew in at least one area of my life. The funny thing about giving someone love, means that you are opening yourself up to be hurt. Please don't think that I'm being dramatic when I say that; I say it because it's true. You can't be hurt if you don't care.

Friendships and loving one another is as necessary the air we breath in my opinion. True, you can be alive without holding a meaningful relationship, but what kind of life is that? Scared of being hurt or afraid to let someone in, is not reason enough to live a life of emptiness. To each friend that I hold now or have held at some point, I thank you for being apart of my life and I offer my sincerest apology if ever hurt you.

But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” - Ruth 1:16-17


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