This Time Last Year

9.29.2011

For some unexplained reason, I started thinking about this time a year ago last night. And at first this thought process started out very simple and without a lot of substance.

Then I kept thinking about it, mulled it over and came to several realizations with the most significant being this; God makes a way when there doesn't seem to be one. I have no doubt that I've said that before, but I need to be reminded of it constantly.

This time last year, I was panicking over the fact that in less than two months, I would be out of a job. I really and truly wanted to trust God entirely during this season of unknowing, but if I'm being honest, there were one two a few nights of not sleeping well. Prayers were prayed, encouraging words were given and upbeat sayings were said, but at the end of the day, this was an opportunity for me to realize that I am in control of nothing in my life.

A person’s days are determined; You have decreed the number of his months
and have set limits he cannot exceed
.. Job 14:5

To some, that verse may seem like an odd or funny choice considering I'm talking about potential unemployment, but I think it provides the perfect summation of our time here on earth. God has already determined our days and He has set lines that cannot be crossed. So why in the world would I think that He hasn't determined something as small {in regards to the grand scheme of things} as a job? As nervous and terrified {no exaggeration} as I was during this time, I really and truly believed that if it was God's will for me not to have a job immediately after my current one ended, it was for a reason. There was a lesson for me to learn and as you know, the lessons that God has prepared, are usually the hardest ones and the the ones that change your life the most.

I constantly prayed that my heart would be ready to receive the lesson. I probably prayed more for that than for a job itself. And that's the honest truth. If I did not have a job, both Andrew and I would be stretched in ways that we had never experienced. It would force us to rely completely on God and His provisions and we would have to be prepared and ready for that because the enemy would have been posed to attack. Realizing that some of you may be thinking that we should already rely on God completely, I can tell you that is an area that we're both continually working on and that's the reason I believed He would choose to bless us with that lesson rather than a job for me.

Out of all the prayers that were prayed throughout the months leading up to the end of 2010, God chose to bless me with a job. I was in awe and unbelievably thankful because I have no doubt that this job opportunity was thoughtfully and carefully prepared for me by Him. This job has also had it's moments of stretching me and falling into God's arms because there were times I didn't know if I had the strength to get through another day. And sometimes, I still have to stop and realize where I am in my life and how far God has brought me and how far I still need to go. I know that this job was not something I earned or something I deserved, but a blessing He orchestrated.

Seasons of unknowing and seasons of pruning are some of the hardest ones that we'll go through while on earth. Trusting the unseen is tough and relying on hands we can't physically feel to guide us through life seems crazy. But that is what faith is...

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see
..
Hebrews 11:1 

God watchs over every step I take, but He does not keep track of my missteps and I praise Him moment by moment for that because my missteps are many. But His grace is abundant.

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2 i love your comments!:

Bon Bon said...

What a beautiful story of trust/faith/provision. His timing is always perfect:-) xoxo

Megan said...

This is beautiful! It's amazing how much peace we can gain when we trust God!

 
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