Fear of Failure and Success


Fear of failure is something many, if not most, of us are familiar with.  No one likes to fail or disappoint or feel any sense of inadequacy, but chances are, at least one of the aforementioned has happened to us at some point.  Unfortunately, it's a part of life.

And, fortunately, it's a part of life.

What if you never had a chance to fall flat on your face?  Then you would never know how many times you were capable of standing back up again or the depth of God's grace.  What if you never had another opportunity to do something better and settled for what is?

This is a difficult post for me to write because it's something I am currently struggling with.  As I've mentioned, I've started writing for the Examiner in hopes of jump starting a passion into a career.  It's no secret that I'm borderline obsessive with my feelings towards the North Carolina Tar Heels, so I may as well try to make a living being that way.  I was so sure that this jump start would be one of the easier things I've done in my life.  I'm writing about something I love.  Win-win.

Except, what if it turns out I'm not good at it?  Or, scarier still, what if it turns out I am good enough and could actually live out my dream?  There is no concise way for me to explain these feelings, so you'll have to bear with me.  Richard Dumb (the name is ironic to me) once said "Don't follow your drams; chase them."  But when you chase something, there is no guarantee you'll catch it.  And that my friends, is when faith must be bigger than my doubt.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do
this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
- Luke 12:25-26

I cannot concern myself with what may or may not happen; the only thing I can control is if I'm glorifying God in the "chasing" process.  To worry or to have disbelief is not what has been asked of me nor will it do a bit of good.  At the risk of sounding negative, God never promised I would get to live out what I consider my dream.  And in a weird, inexplicable way, that knowledge gives me peace.  He allows me to try and work hard, and to have faith in knowing His will is what will prevail.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts
...and be thankful. - 
Colossians 3:15

On a less serious level, I've also realized the fear of failing and succeeding can also apply to me learning the guitar.  I know I'm currently not a good guitar player, but I'm contributing money and time to learning how to play this instrument.  There is no guarantee that I'll be good, but there is also the chance I could become good.  Is the chance worth the hours and dollars? Who knows.  The only way to find out is for me to put myself out there.  I realize I'm only talking about a hobby, but for some reason, it's easier for me to explain.  It's not my dream to rock out on stage, but it is my dream to write.  The possibility of me spending months and years pursuing a writing career and never achieving it, is high. 

 But I'm just scared enough to find out.


3 i love your comments!:

short stack said...

i believe in you woman!!! :)

Anonymous said...

I LOVE THIS !!!!! Recently, God has been closing so many doors in my life and I have not understood why ? Until now. . . I finally got an internship in California that I would have never imagined. He is so GOOD to us and even though it's hard to believe in the middle of disappoints, we must always remember that He is for us :) ! I love your blog and I nominated you for an award. Check out my blog for more details-- Letting Go, Letting God !

Michaela said...

Wow, this is great! Thank you for this, friend!! Love Colossians 3:15 :)

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