When I think of someone being 28 years old, I do not think of myself. Despite the fact I haven't lived at home in 10 years and that I've been married for five of those, I don't feel like a full-fledged grown up.  28 seems like an age of someone that has it all together and more often than not, I feel like I'm figuring it out as I go.

Despite the fact that I supposedly am one, being an adult seems like a daunting task. Again, I'm not sure how that happened so quickly, but here I am; staring down the last two years of being a 20-something. As a kid, I don't think I ever really thought about my future. Like really sat down and pondered how it would all pan out. I'm sure I had general thoughts and ideas, but growing up seemed like such a far off and distant thing, it seemed silly to put a lot of stock into planning it out.

I've said this before, but I think it's worth saying again; too often, we're looking to what's next. Looking forward to what the next season will have to offer, or maybe even dreading it. Though I didn't strain to see what my future as an adult would hold, I don't think I fully appreciated just how awesome it is to be a kid. We all had childhoods, so I won't recap all the reasons that it was awesome because everyone's was awesome for different reasons.

My point (somewhat) to all of that, is this; I want to appreciate where I am in this moment. I want to be 28 for as long as I'm 28. I refuse to spend the next two years wondering what the 30 will bring because whatever it brings, I won't be facing it alone.

God had this life planned for me long before I entered the world. He's seen me throw fits; cry and laugh until I couldn't breath; falter and fall. And through all of that, through all these years, He remains.

Yet I am always with you;
    you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
    and afterward you will take me into glory.
Psalms 73:23-24

I thought about writing a "goals" post for my 28th year, and I may still do that, but for now, I want to meditate what it means for me to be here. This age. This season. This life.

This past Sunday, our pastor preached on standing "in God."  And though the message could apply to everyone and everything, I walked away knowing that I need be active in doing that. To stop rushing and running and to just stand. To allow His glory to wash over me and for His strength to be my strength.

He never meant for me to live a life of trying to do it on my own. I have been ridiculously blessed with an amazing man of God that loves, works and tries for me. He holds my hand and guards my heart. And my prayer is I don't let a moment of this year in my life go by without me remembering that.

The past 27 years have been mine. Some have been harder than others, but they have all been mine. I will choose to embrace whatever this year has to offer.

Unless it forces me to become an adult.  Whatever that is.

2 i love your comments!:

jess said...

Happy Birthday! I agree with you, I never feel my age. When people ask how old I am, sometimes I forget for a second (and then feel like a total weirdo) because I don't feel close to my age at all!

jess | Quaintrelle

Ashley said...

i really love this post. i'm 28 and sometimes have a hard time of looking forward/being anxious about 30.....really love your perspective.

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