dust.

11.21.2017


The past few days, I have looked at this blog more than I had in the last year. This writing space which I had sadly overlooked for more than 365 days...a space that is safe and a space I missed.

Writing has always been an outlet for me and for some reason, in a time I needed it the most, I turned away. Isn't that often the human response? You know what you need, but sometimes it isn't what you want.

Too much of 2017 was spent with me forgetting who I am and WHOSE I am. I have no real reason or excuse for this, but a handful of days ago, I woke up. Too late, but just in time. I am coming back to who I am, who I want to be and who God has called me to be. Back to the wife Andrew deserves and the one I promised to be almost a decade ago (whoa).

Sometimes when you're in the midst of searching, you may not know what you're looking for. And in those moments, you get turned around. Running, stumbling, falling. That was much of my year. All self-induced. Running from...well, more often than not, myself and the things I was afraid to face. I'd brush myself off, tell myself I was fine, all the while becoming increasingly scratched and bruised.

Then, in the aforementioned handful of days ago, I stopped and turned to look at what made me fall. Facing the thing that hurt you or that you allowed to do so is not an easy feat. But history can be a repetitive punk and I was determined to stop it in its tracks this time. I made the same mistake more than one too many times.

They say if you fall, get up and brush yourself off. As if it never happened. As if you didn't fall for a reason. But what if you don't? I mean, of course get back up - life isn't meant to be lived at ground level. What if you allow that dust that clings to your clothes, hands, face, remind you of where you've been? Again, history - a repetitive punk. It is a stealth enemy who can come out of nowhere if you aren't on guard. If you are, almost constantly, reminding yourself that slow and steady wins the race.

Life - a marathon, a war, but abundantly worth living. And living well and right.

This week is about reflecting on the many, many God given blessings and I plan on not missing a moment to do so this week, next or those to come. To pause, look around and remind myself where God has brought me from and where He is taking me. To gaze at the dust and know it's a symbol of the fight I tried to fight but didn't need to.

2017 is not yet over, and I will not allow the remaining weeks of the year escape me. I will honor the Lord and my husband with my time, my actions, my life. I will give thanks for all.

Happy Thanksgiving week to all!
 
template design by Studio Mommy (© copyright 2015)